


I Wanna Hold Your Hand

by PantasticPansexual



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Arranged Marriage, F/M, Harry Potter is Not a Horcrux, Harry Potter is Not the Boy-Who-Lived, M/M, Multi, Rituals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-03-06 00:35:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18840016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PantasticPansexual/pseuds/PantasticPansexual
Summary: Lily had that glint in her eyes again. Whenever she looked like that, James wisely decided that he'd leave her to make the important decisions, and act like a properly pussy-whipped husband. Not that she would allow him to actually have an opinion at such times. So when he came home with his wonderful wife after visiting the Order of the Phoenix where they just had a very emotional conversation with Albus, Frank and Alice regarding their son and godson, he simply did as his wife ordered. He complied when she unceremoniously handed him Harry with the words: "Don't you dare to leave our baby-boy out of sight right now.





	I Wanna Hold Your Hand

//BLEEB90’s WRITING//

Lily had that glint in her eyes again. Whenever she looked like that, James wisely decided that he'd leave her to make the important decisions, and act like a properly pussy-whipped husband. Not that she would allow him to actually have an opinion at such times. So when he came home with his wonderful wife after visiting the Order of the Phoenix where they just had a very emotional conversation with Albus, Frank and Alice regarding their son and godson, he simply did as his wife ordered. He complied when she unceremoniously handed him Harry with the words: "Don't you dare to leave our baby-boy out of sight right now."

"I'll be," he muttered as he automatically he shifted to make Harry comfortable in his arms. "Talk about sounding ominous."

He could have sworn that she had woven magic into that command.

Thus he sat meekly on the couch while his wife bustled through the house in a frenzy, and tried to ignore the the noise that sounded as if she were raiding her own potions cabinet. After a particularly hard crash of what sounded like glass drowned whatever nonsense he was talking to his son, he simply hugged his little Prongs jr tighter and tried to pretend all was well. No, there wasn't a prophecy, Lily hadn't turned in Wife-zilla, and they most certainly did not live in times of war.

Maybe he should suggest to Lily for the three of them to move to the Bermuda. ...No. Random thoughts begone! His task was child rearing at the moment, he reminded himself. If she found him writing a letter to Gringotts real-estate division rather than playing with their little baby-boy, she would not be pleased. Excuses about fleeing dreary weather probably wouldn't work, James mused while absently cooing back at Harry. Daring to cross paths with his wife could very well be lethal, and therefore ill-advised to do. She said she had a plan – a plan she was working on right now; yes, his beautiful Lily-flower would know what to do, like always.

* * *

 

"Lily," Remus asked, "why are you sealing the room so you have to be the first to leave alive and free of influence of potions and spells?"

"I was wondering about that as well," Sirius pondered out loud, "I recognize some of those, Lilz, I have read about that kind of stuff in the Black family library. Why on earth are you using these kind of lethal negotiation wards when we are under friends?"

"It... It is almost as if you don't trust us anymore, Lily." Added Peter, sounding aghast at the idea of being among people that couldn't be trusted.

"That is exactly what it sounds like, Peter," responded Lily with a grim face, while absently patting Harry on the head who was happily gurgling some incomprehensible words next to her breast in the baby carrier.

"Even though I trust all of you emotionally, rationally I know there is a spy amongst our midst, so I can't trust you. All of you."

The four men winced.

"So I have come up with a solution: a drinking game."

If it weren't such a dire situation, she would have loved to make a photo of the incredulous faces looking at her. James was the first to recover and began to sputter.

"A drinking game? Are you out of your mind, Lily? I know you have Irish roots, but come on! Alcohol doesn't solve anything! This is our son we are talking about." James began to gesture wildly in his agitation. "There is a megalomaniac that could very well be out to off our son as we speak, and you think booze is the answer? Wat the hell?!"

She made a scoffing noise.

"Don't be ridiculous James. Now, I expect all four of you to hand me your wands peacefully. If you do not comply I will take your wand, but it won't be peaceful." The tone of warning was light, but not to be taken lightly.

They all knew it. It wasn't just James whom she had proverbially beaten into submission. All four meekly presented her their wands. She nodded friendly with each wand she accepted, and put them all in her back pocket. The four defenceless men looked at each other when they saw Lily's smile becoming more forced and fearsome than it already was.

"Now boys, stick out your tongues, and wait for your three drops of Veritaserum – not much drinking, I know, but meh; who cares for semantics anyway?"

Not one of them dared to retort with anything. Twelve drops later she looked positively feral.

"Now boys, pay attention, here is my question: Are you a Death Eater, or in any way in alliance with Voldemort or his idea's?"

Simultaneously she heard three times "no I'm not", and one "yes I am". She was glad to see that Remus, who was sitting next to Peter, didn't waste any time by physically knocking him unconscious.

A few spells later he was as naked as the day he was born. Checking his now glamour-free wrist they saw the inevitable evidence. The three friends were very disappointed to see the Dark Mark on the wrist of their newly ex-friend.

"Remus, could you be a dear and check all of his openings for hidden port keys? I want to be thorough."

The werewolf grimaced, and did as asked; only to look completely disgusted when he found out he had to remove a genital piercing from Peter. Brilliant, if not disgusting. Remus didn't look sorry at all when he showed no mercy and ripped the thing off... Maybe not so brilliant after all. After their irrational male-sympathy wince Sirius and James nodded approvingly at Remus.

As he accepted his wand back from Lily, he did another spell to check if he had indeed removed all piercings. Meanwhile Lily was strapping the baby carrier off, after handing Harry back to James.

Ignoring the two almost-brothers, who were happy to occupy themselves with Harry in favour for not having to deal with Peter, she sat opposite of Remus, trapping the unconscious Peter between the two of them.

"That were all the portkey's?"

"Yes."

"Good, now would you mind turning him on his belly so I can have his back – good, thanks Moony."

Remus looked with fearful eyes at Lily who had no qualms about holding a wicked looking dagger – was that a silver alloy? Remus decided that she, in her capacity as a mother looked more feral than he thought himself, a werewolf, to ever be capable of.

"Lily, not that don't I approve, because I don't mind any harm you inflict on this... person, but what on earth are you carving on his back?"

"Runes."

Peter moaned softly, only to be kicked swiftly in the head by Sirius.

"Yes, we see that, but we aren't familiar with this particular array."

"It prevents his body to every be transfigured in anything ever again, Padfoot. In a moment little Wormy here will have lost his animagus form."

"Brilliant."

"I know," she said, with her voice sounding dangerously pleasant. "That's why I have mixed salt through the ink that I will rub into his wounds when I'm finished with this scarification. I want that filthy little rat to suffer."

Fifteen minutes later, the three men were looking approvingly at their turncoat-friend's back. Lily was a gruesome artist, they unanimously agreed.

Not that she cared for their approval. She proceeded by cursing Peter with extreme muscle weakness.

"Remus, pull him in sitting position and hold him so he can't move, Sirius, the second I enevervate him, I want you to hold his nose. The minute he opens his mouth I will pour this vial of Draught of Living Death in his mouth. When that's done, we don't have to worry about him anymore."

After two minutes of struggle, Peter looked dead for all intents and purposes.

"Now boys, Peter can wait right now, so here is what we will do. First I want Remus and Sirius to do a fatherhood blood-ritual to make sure you aren't his honorary uncles, or lawfully unacknowledged godfathers, but honest-to-Merlin daddies. In that case, when something happens to James and I, and Sirius does something incredibly dumb – and hasn't anybody to pay his bail, like he would have otherwise – Remus has full rights over Harry. Capisce?"

After a half hour of bickering they had finally talked Remus into giving Harry some of his blood – Lily had insisted that she had looked into it extensively for quite a while now, and concluded her little baby-boy would only benefit from it.

Two hours and an complicated ritual later, all three fathers were looking at Lily expectingly.

"Now we have taken care of almost everything. I want the four of us to swear an binding oath of protection and fidelity towards each other. You won't die or lose your magic if you break it, because the vow will physically incapable of doing so."

Four three-way vows later, Lily looked quite satisfied.

"Now I own a studio in Dorgheda in Ireland, James has bought this cottage here in Godrics Hollow, Sirius inherited the little cottage from his uncle Alphard in Hogsmead, and Remus owns his cottage with excellent bunker in Ewloe, Wales. I want them all under fidelus. So here is what we are going to do."

She took a deep breath.

"I will be Sirius' secret keeper."

"Sirius will be James' secret keeper."

"James will be Remus' secret Keeper."

"And to complete the circle, Remus will be my secret keeper."

She was answered with smiles.

"Brilliant idea, Lily-flower; I don't know what we would do without you."

"Random recklessness, James. That's what you would be up to. Do not think I have forgotten that you wanted to name our precious son Elvendork..."

//END OF BLEEB90’s WRITING//

 

What they didn’t know is the ritual wasn’t meant for alliance, rather for arranged marriages. The ritual came with strong compulsion charms, and after a few months physical contact was overwhelming. Therefore, Lily had walked into the boys doing some of her dirtiest fantasies, and she demanded to join.


End file.
